Between perception and reality is a place full of ambiguity

First there is always a perceived notion, an assumption of a view, an idea, a matter of opinion or even an image in one's mind of an issue at hand, be it on how to cook a perfect pot of rice or on more serious matters like the general state of affairs of the country.

Usually in today's opinionated society at large one's personal perception of something tend to be one's informed opinion of another person, or a different idea or something new or strange.

From young we were taught to be aware that there are many different and varying views to life in general, from the way we are supposed to behave, to how we dress, and most important of all to how we express ourselves.

As we grow older we acquire more complicated ways on how to make friends (and ofttimes too, unknowingly creating enemies.) Our interactions with both camps help us to eventually form our own opinions of friends and enemies - on their individual and different characters, and also with regards to their behaviour and mannerisms.

Most of the time we cannot tell the difference between an enemy and a friend, and how they got to be one or the other. Basically the flaw lies in ourselves, not them. Otherwise everyone would be a friend. It's harder to make an enemy than a friend.

We would express our opinions to them (sometimes ours of them) out in the open (although this was very rare in the our society of pre-1990's) or we would decide to privately keep them to ourselves.

From personal experience, I found western society in general tends to be more open in this regard.

Today however I find in our society this land I would call "Ambiguity" and it strangely occupies an immense area of territory, taking up more space than it's brothers of "Perception" and "Reality". By right, Reality should take it's proper prime and overwhelming space; with the lesser siblings perception and ambiguity being relegated to the swamplands as far away from the Capital as possible.

Let me tell you a story.

There is a friend I know reasonably well whom everyone in our circle perceived as an "ideal husband, diligent bread-winner, a loving parent and a model of a successful professional in his field".

Recently it came to our knowledge that most of the above, if not all of the above opinions of his character were seriously flawed and that he was not the epitome of the "good guy" as we had known him to be.

But no evidence of any wrong-doing had ever been uncovered nor any credible witnesses to his wayward ways came forward; not to any of us anyway.

He has managed to continue to live his normal life and go his own way ... in this wonderful land called "Ambiguity". He has said he had done no wrong, had committed no crime and has not gone into hiding, although he had after a time received feedback on his supposed transgressions.

My friend has managed to deflect most of the obvious slanders and the many malicious insinuations against him.

A cloud of ambiguity now appears to float above him like an unseen halo.

However as far as I'm concerned, it's very much up to oneself, either as an envious onlooker who would "see" this big dark black cloud of dubiousness pointing an accusing finger, or as a friend who would overlook the small grey brief whiff of mist as just being that...something airy-fairy which has evaporated by the time you perceived that it's there. Or probably not there in the first place?

This is only a story of a friend, someone I know.

The greater story lies out there... in the land of the never-never, not so far away. Maybe it's even a true story that is happening right here, right now.

Someone said to me once that "Ambiguity is the stuff of life in this country if you look around you, and this aura surrounds many, if not all, of our prominent leaders."

Who's to say whether that was a dark cloud or a whiff of mist floating above his head?

God only knows.

Take care.

[ The foregoing piece is dedicated to RPK. ]